I wouldn’t want to write this post, but I don’t want to have two days of silence either, and I feel like I need to write something. It’s been the worst day ever. Probably you remember when I wrote about the health issues, or whether there was any health issues or not. I wrote about it after I heard everything was okay with my blood tests, and how relieved I was. Before that only thing I knew was that there was something unusual seen on the ultra sound, when I was being checked on a totally different thing. (More specifically I think there’s no point writing, since I don’t want to hear any stories on similar things.) Well yes I was relieved after the blood test results and seeing the doctor, but I still had to go to the MRI, which can tell you something that blood tests won’t. Today was the day when I would finally get the results, or only if there was something wrong. I’ve been so stressed, though I’ve been on the go all day, but I’ve been checking my phone every minute waiting for a call. I’ve felt so restless, so worried and just so… crap. Now it’s 9PM, still no call, thank god. All kind of weird numbers have happened to call me right on this day, and every time my phone has rang my heart has raced so fast. But no call from the doctor, so nothing wrong, that was the deal. What a relief, but I can’t feel the relief just yet. Maybe tomorrow when I wake up. I’m the worst with dealing this kind of things. Tomorrow I’ll write you hopefully more positive thoughts. The pictures here were taken this morning, I tried to do a day with me kind of post, but I just couldn’t focus or function.
Ps. First snow. ♥
Ei hirveästi huvittaisi kirjoittaa tätä postausta, mutta toisaalta en halua kahden päivän blogihiljaisuuttakaan, ja ehkä parempi vain kirjoittaa hieman fiiliksiä. Tänään on ollut aika hirveä päivä. En tiedä miksi kirjoitan aika, tänään on ollut todella hirveä päivä. Oon vilkuillut puhelinta odottaen lääkärin soittoa, oliko mun magneettikuvissa kaikki kunnossa vai ei. Vihdoin se päivä. Mutta mä olen ollut niin levoton ja ahdistunut. Nyt kello on jo puoli kymmenen illalla, eikä soittoa lääkäriltä ole tullut. Ei soittoa, ei mitään huolestuttavaa magneettikuvissa joka vaatisi jatkotutkimuksia, niin se piti mennä. (Tänään on tietysti soitelleet sitten oudot numerot kaiken maailman lehtimyyjistä DNA-liittymäasioihin, huhhuh.) Eli mun kuuluisi huokaista helpotuksesta. En osaa tehdä sitä vielä, ehkä huomenna kun herään. Tämä päivä on mennyt sellaisessa ahdistussumussa, ei tässä päivässä oo ollut oikeasti mitään järkeä. Mutta jospa se olisi nyt ollut tässä. Kirjoitin kyllä silloin viimeksi miten helpottunut olin verikokeiden tuloksista miten kaikki oli kunnossa, mutta tietenkin magneettikuvaustuloksia piti vielä jännittää, kun lääkäri halusi mut vielä niihin määrätä. Ja kaikkihan lähti siitä, kun ultrakuvissani nähtiin jotain outoa eri asian yhteydessä, sen tarkemmin en viitsi täällä kirjoittaa, etten kuulisi mitään tarinoita muilta, kun ei tapauksia voi verrata keskenään. Se siitä lörpöttelystä, kaikki on kunnossa, ultrakuvissa saattoi olla pelkkää kohinaa. Jos oli jotain, se ei vaikuta ilmeisesti mihinkään eikä vaadi hoitoa. Nyt vain nukkumaan. Kuvat tähän otin tänään, mun piti tehdä päivä mun kanssa postaus, mutta sehän tyssäsi alkuunsa. Huomenna uudet jutut.
Ps. Ensi lumi. ♥
Ashley says
Writing to you from San Francisco to wish you well. I truly hope things continue to go positively for you health-wise. I can’t image the fear today caused. Hang in there. <3
tanja says
I’m so sorry for your bad feelings and can absolutely relate to that… But it seems everything is o.k. now and that is wonderful. XO
tanja says
Btw I love your sense for style and interior and you have such an eye for pretty pictures. Many of them are like a remedy for the soul.
Susie says
Dear Marianna,
I’m sending my best wishes from Hungary! I’m sure everything is going to be fine, but you have to stay really positive.
You’re an amazing blogger and from your lovely posts I feel like you’re a nice person in life, as well. Keep on doing your wonderful job.
Hugs,
Susie
Anne Sofie S. says
Hoping for good news for you tomorrow, so that you can finally start to relax again. It’s the worst not knowing. Warm thoughts from Norway <3
Dixi Wonderland says
Marianna, your not alone in this.
We are here for you in good or in bad. I understand that you don´t wanna tell us everything but please remember that we´re here to give you support when you need it. I´m happy to hear that you´re okay 🙂
Linda says
Oh Marianna! I’m truly sorry you are undergoing so much stress and pressure. I know you don’t want to hear a similar story (this isn’t that similar)…but I know what it’s like to wait for a call from the doctor. The anxiety and anticipation is like death. I experienced that several weeks ago. At my doctors office, they don’t call you if it’s negative, but if it’s positive they call. My doctor said if after 4 days I do not get a call, I can consider it negative. But how horrible right? To have a patient waiting day after day not knowing whether there will be a call or not. It’s awful and I am so so sorry you have to go through it. I hope Minnie has been keeping your mind off of it at least a little.
Stay strong!
I hope tomorrow is better.
<3
Linda
boohoolindalieu.wordpress.com
Leanne says
Oh my gosh my heart dropped when I first started reading this. I’m so glad you’ve not received a call, I can’t imagine the anguish or worry you have had today. I’m sure tomorrow it will settle, I think the body needs time to catch-up with what the mind already knows and then all the nerves and tension will dissipate. The blood tests were fine, and now the MRI is fine and tomorrow is Friday so things are looking good from here. 🙂
xx
Rena says
Oh, I’m so sorry! Hopefully tomorrow you will have information that everthing is fine. All the best to you <3
xx from Bavaria/Germany, Rena
http://www.dressedwithsoul.com
Naomi says
I can totally relate with you. I have waiting for a news that may be a bad one. Not knowing is the worst.
I hope you’ll feel better tomorrow!
Love, Naomi
PS: Snow! You’re so lucky! I hope we’ll have snow soon too 🙂
Amanda @ A.Co est.1984 says
I hope the no news=good news stays that way, and no phone call tomorrow. Really thinking about you.
Fanny says
I can imagine how stressfull your day was. I hope there will no phone call tomorrow. Finger croissed for you !
My sweet escape says
Beautiful!
I hope we´ll have snow soon too!
https://mysweetescapemasha.blogspot.com/
Aya says
You are such a beautiful girl !! i’m so sorry i can’t even imagine how bad it felt just waiting to see what’s gonna happen well such a relief that you didn’t get any call and hopefully you wont get a call tomorrow 🙂 just stay positive and everything is gonna be alright !! wish you all the best xx
https://ayeuh.wordpress.com/
Agata says
Marianna, stay strong! You must be positive now, I know it’s very difficult, but it’s the only way not to get completely shuttered by this :(. I hope everything will be fine! I’m crossing my fingers, I know you’ll get through this! Have a good sleep! 🙂
Julia says
I’m sorry you feel this way 🙁 But everything will be Ok, we all have our bad days. Love your pictures and blog, always checking. xo
Paulynagore says
Hey no worries 🙂 Everybody have bad days 🙂 But know that you’re not alone, you’ve your family , friend and Minnie 🙂 Try to have a good sleep dear <3
http://paulynagore.blogspot.fr/
Deborah says
I cant imagine dealing with this. Im so glad you are ok and I cant imagine how anxious u must have felt. I remember when u talked about those other results. I hope you can relax and feel better now! ♥
Natalie says
What a relief you did’n get that phone call! Now everything should be fine, I hope it will be. Stay strong and take it easy today I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you
Romina says
Good morning dear,
I hope you feel better now and your body and mind can relax again.
What a crap day yesterday, I can absolutly imagine how horrible you must have felt – oh and don’t worry there is no beeing good in dealing with things like this. We’re all humans and I truely believe everyone who has been in a similar situation has been absolutely frightened.
I know you want your blog to focus on the positive things in life and I totally agree with that. But either way I’m happy you shared this. This way your thoughts about appreciating the small things in life get a deeper sense and prove that you don’t live a easy life away from everyday problems but that you are a woman with a truely positive way of seeing life even if there are barriers on the way. And that shows your are a strong, amazing woman!
I’ve read the other coments and I hope you can draw strength from all the kind things written here.
Sending you the best wishes and love from Germany!
Marta says
Sending cheering hugs to you! I understand your anxiety and I hope today is going to be much better! Hang in there <3
Karen says
Sending you the best wishes and love from Brazil! stay positive, everything is gonna be alright !!
Xox, Karen <3
Piret says
Oh, i am so sorry you had to go through that… unfortunately i can relate to the anxiety of waiting that call – i was waiting for my cancer test results last week, the worst day ever pretty much, but luckily i got good news. Really hoping all is well with you too and keeping you in my thoughts! Xx
Sending good vibes from Estonia 🙂
Alexandra says
Hello Marianna, I understand your stressing situation, I hope you will get the good-news call soon. As long as every comment will remind you about your worry I decided to ask you something totally diffrent to distract you a bit. What do you think about wearing Michael Kors bags nowadays? Is it passe? I remember that you had your Michael Kors Hammilton bag, but it’s not seen on your blog anymore for long time. If you need to choose between Michael Kors Savannah bag and Ralph Lauren Newbury, which one you would pick? I hope you can tell and forget about your call for the while… Greetings&kisses
Abdullah Teke says
You’re such a snow bunny :p snow bunny’s are hot :p
Naty says
I hope everything will be fine!!! 🙂 I love your photos, looks so calm 🙂 Have a nice day, N.
http://myparisianheart.com/
Abdullah Teke says
But on a more serious Note. You’ll be ok ♡ it’s usually bad When they call YOU.If you can’t wait just call the office And I bet they’ll let you know what’s up. I’ll pray for you ! You have way too many people who love you & need you in their daily life :p You gotta be strong for them.and plus you’re too busy to be sick .brush That shit off. Xoxo.I bet you’re going to wake up looking cute AF and not worry about nothing :*
Elina says
Voi Marianna, useasti on tullut olo (niin kuin nytkin tätä postausta lukiessa), että voisipa vain halata sinua, välittää jotain hyvää energiaa tai ilmaantua oven taakse ja tuoda jotain piristävää sulle. <3
Kaikki on varmasti hyvin. <3 Kaikki järjestyy. <3 Kaikella on oma tarkoituksensa. <3
Marianna says
Voi, ihanasti sanottu ja ihana sinä <3
Selja // It's Selja says
Voi miten harmittaa puolestasi, että jouduit viettämään päivän ilman uutisia 🙁 Paljon tsemppiä ja jaksamista, odottaminen on usein se vaikein ja rankin osuus. Koita nauttia viikonlopusta!
Tiina says
Voi miten tulee ihan surullinen olo sun puolesta tätä lukiessa. Tsemppiä hirmuisesti ja toivottavasti kaikki kääntyy parhain päin. Onneksi sulla on Minnie vierellä koko ajan seurana ja tukena <3
Marianna says
Kiitos Tiina <3
Daria says
Marianna, you’re so wonderful. Hope that everything will get back to harmonious track for you as soon as possible.
Kindest wishes!
Vir says
Hope everything is ok! Muy best wishes with you darling!
Anais says
Wow, at first I was so scared, thought you were going to make a terrible announcement.
Hope everything’s okay and sending you good vibes from Paris !
You’re the best <3
Kate says
Hope and pray everything is okay for you!
Ana Carolina says
Wow… The worst thing for me is waiting. That keeps me anxious all day. Sending all my love to you! Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!
X
Natalia says
I never comment but I’ve been following and reading you since the first post. But now I want to send you the best wishes. I really hope that everything with your health goes well and that all this stress that you are suffering right now disappears. Anyways you are a very strong woman and I’m sure that you are going to be ok. Lot of hugs from Spain 🙂
Bri says
Oh Marianna, I’m so sorry to hear that:( but no news is good news so I really hope you feel better that everything is ok. Take care, I know it can be tough.
With Love,
Bri
http://www.awostories.com | Instagram @imbrigita
Stacy says
Inspiring photos!!!!
xo
Laís says
Omg I just read this post. I had no idea! I’m so happy nothing’s wrong and you are well and healthy. Sending more positive thoughts your way! Everything is fine 🙂
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